Gretchen

Molasses Slow

I took a bite.  I really didn’t want to.  But I couldn’t help it.  It was being shoved in my face with all of its sea salty caramel goodness.  The popcorn clusters drizzled with chocolate and toffee bits melted in my mouth as I sunk my teeth into them.  I stayed and I ate.  I ate till it was gone.  I ate until my alarm clock woke me up.

Yeah, that’s right.  It was only a dream. But it was a particularly disturbing dream to me.  I have spent the last three months eliminating sugar from my diet.  Not once in those three months has my subconscious mind violated my sugar purge.  Not once, until last night.  Interestingly, in the dream the sugar kept me from accomplishing the task in front of me.  I just couldn’t get up and go.  The sugar was holding me back like my feet were slogging through molasses.

Every piece of my day lingered with that dream.  Not only could I taste the caramel corn I also couldn’t get up and go.  Like so many times before I recognize that sugar is a neurotoxin.  It wreaks havoc with my nervous system, sends my metabolic functions all haywire, and sets me up for a roller coaster of energy highs and lows throughout the day.  Even though I didn’t actually eat any sugar my entire day became this sticky molasses metaphor.  Getting from one place to another was a struggle.  I have allowed sugar to hold me back for far too much of my life.  Today was a reminder that its not worth the stickiness the sweet leaves behind.

Part of my own spiritual journey has been recognizing that I reside in my body,  I realize that might sound strange.  After years of being an athlete I viewed my body as a tool.  It was a tool that won competitions and worked really hard.  But despite that reality I have never liked my body.  Disconnecting emotionally and spiritually was a natural and possibly inevitable reality.  But at some point I recognized that I couldn’t continue to grow spiritually if I didn’t learn to  make that connection. So began my journey to pay attention to what my body was telling me.  Finally, after several years, I feel as though I am beginning to hear myself.  And even things like silly dreams speak volumes.

 

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